When can infidelity in a relationship, especially marriage, be forgiven?

In one way or another, we have broken someone's trust. It's human nature, sometimes we are not even aware that we are betraying someone until it's too late, and we find ourselves desperately trying to figure out a way on how to have that person trust us again. We've all gone through it. And we also know how it feels like to be betrayed. It can be as simple as your best friend "accidentally" revealing a secret, or you discovering the truth behind a lie.

Trust, aside from love, it is the most vital part of any relationship(professional, friendship or marriage). Trust is something that we do not demand from people in our lives, trust is something that we work for. When we learn to honor a person's trust, then we know that we have grown as a person.

My husband and I talk about the issue of being a cheat and being cheated on all the time. We talk about the "what-ifs", the possible things that might happen when one of us becomes unfaithful. We find that talking about it makes it more unlikely for one of us to cheat. Usually, a married couple's relationship falls apart because of lack of communication. Communication between husband and wife should not be limited to just talking, explore other ways to communicate, like using body language, or enhancing the use of the five different senses.

In marriage, betraying your spouse's trust is a grave sin. It is not something that is taken lightly, especially when there are kids involved. It is easier to forgive a cheating girlfriend or boyfriend than it is to forgive a cheating husband or wife. Maybe it's because of the existence of a contract of commitment between the husband and wife which makes it difficult to forgive them when they betray your trust.

In my opinion, Infidelity should not be forgiven(atleast not right away), or overlooked. I know that if it happened to me(heaven forbid it), I'd probably forgive my husband, but I also know that things between us will never be the same, it will always feel like a shadow overhead. But, because I love my husband, and that despite the betrayal, I'd still be willing to work things out with him because I honor my marriage vows and I love him. I guess when you love a person you're willing to learn how to forgive the betrayal and learn from the mistake. But that's just me.

Points to Ponder:

*It's important that you don't stay with your cheating spouse just because you have children, working things out with your spouse shouldn't be "just about the children", but should be about the two of you mending a broken relationship.

*Avoid arguing in front of your children, arguing or fighting in front of your children will only cause your children distress, in worst cases, trauma. Argue in private, your children shouldn't witness quarrels between the two of you because they might be affected negatively emotionally and psychologically.

*Don't force it. If you feel that it's not going to work out because the "loving feeling" just isn't there anymore, then let it go. Forcing it will only make things worse and aggravate the situation more leading to a more serious problem. Just let it go and part ways as friends, that way you both avoid possible physical confrontations and emotional trauma.

*If you have to separate for a while, do so. Sometimes it's better to work on your personal issues first before you work on issues as a couple. Use this time to contemplate on what you want to happen in your relationship. Also, some say that "absence makes the heart grow fonder".

*Deal with it. Don't pretend that nothing ever happened, confront the issues and deal with it. Learn to accept the things that you can't change and change the things that you can.

*Get over it together.

*Have faith that everything will be alright. Ask God for guidance, and make him the center of your relationship and I'm sure that you will not lose your way again.